Lulu is brave. She is so much braver than I am. She has goals and she pursues them passionately. She is certain she will climb that wall. She is determined to run as fast as kids twice her age, and she is skilled at ignoring no. It’s not an option in Lulu’s world. She knows what she wants and there’s no stopping her. She knows she is smart, brave, strong, and loved and that’s all she needs to be independent.
All of this is nerve-wracking for me. What if she falls? What if she gets hurt? What if her pride or her feelings get bruised? Will she get embarrassed? So many what ifs and most of them are rooted in me doubting, fearing or worrying about her instead of cheering her on.
But seriously, why is this my first instinct? Why not embrace her independence? Why would I doubt her abilities or worse let her think for even a second that I don’t believe in her? Why am I not asking, what if she succeeds? What if she makes it to the top? What if she wins the race? As her mama shouldn’t I be her number 1 fan, supporter, and cheerleader? And not push my fears on her?
During this journey, I’m learning how to better control my anxiety. Allowing her to soar, and pursue her 2-year-old dreams. Giving her the space she needs to be herself. And asking myself, is it her I’m worried about, or is it me?
Lulu likes to sit on the librarian’s lap. She sings loud and proud and she loves to dance in public. It’s adorable. People love it. She’s having fun. I could never be that bold, but I love that she can. And as long as what she’s doing isn’t wrong, then I want to continue to encourage her, even if that means all eyes on her means more eyes on me.
So while Lulu continues to cross items off her baby bucket list, I will continue to be by her side. Cheering her on. All the while she…
Makes friends with a goat
Rides a motorcycle
Climbs to the top of the highest slide, go down, and do it again
Jumps off a diving board
Rides a pony, while looking backwards
And so much more! Keep on being brave, little one. Keep pursuing the passions that make your heart happy, and I will keep being immensely proud of you.