Things have been harder than I expected since we moved out of the city. It feels like one comical disaster after another continues to happen at about 2-week intervals. All of which on their own, would be easy to overcome but string it together and I’m just wishing for a break. Do you ever feel like that? Like you can’t catch a break, get ahead, stay motivated? Like the frustrating is turning into the devastating or at least heartbreaking? I know life throws hard things at all of us. And my hard things might be a little nothing to you, but it’s been a challenge lately for me.
I try to start every work day with a grateful heart. As my computer starts up I write down 5 things I’m grateful for right now. Lately, my list is superficial and it’s getting harder and harder to find my 5 things and not just repeating what I used the day before. As I look at today, my grateful list continues to stay empty and it’s well after starting time. Maybe because I’m doing the practice out of rote instead of need or really feeling grateful, but also my mindset just needs adjusting. How do you get yourself out of a funk?
I’m grateful my kids are healthy – but the fight to find the right pediatrician and an upcoming appointment with a neurosurgeon put a dark shadow on that feeling. As do the colds that we keep getting and won’t go away. In less than 6 months we’ve battled a 10-day stomach bug, the flu, and we’re on our second round of colds, ear infections, and bronchitis. And each of these colds lasts weeks and seem to stretch into the next one. Making the kids more tired, irritable and fussy than they normally would be.
I’m grateful Lulu is adventures and fun loving, but for the love of my sanity will she please start sitting on chairs vs standing and stop climbing on everything? I can’t handle the bumps, bruises and boo-boos that continue to happen. Or the fights at dinner for her to please sit down and eat. Yes, Lulu, you must be buckled into your chair. No Lulu, it’s not snack time, you need to eat your dinner. Puffs are not a vegetable. She was so easy for so long, she went with the flow, and now as she develops her own personality, her own wants and needs, and her own boundaries, it’s more of a struggle than I expected.
I’m grateful that we have a beautiful home that provides us with space and allows us to be closer to the family. Well, actually we have two – because the condo won’t sell, no matter what we do or how many times we lower the price. Causing stress with all the payments and upkeep of having 2 residences, the pressure from my family, and the fear of selling the condo at a loss and finding the money to actually sell it– to pay the realtors fees, the closing costs, the city taxes, and fees, the list goes on.
I’m grateful I’m needed. There’s never an end to the things on my plate. Lulu’s favorite word is mama. She always wants mama. My job as a wife, my job as a mom, my full-time job, and of course the job as house manager that entails the neverending mountains of laundry – not only dirty but clean. The dishes for 3 meals a day plus snacks. The grocery shopping, appointment making, schedule balancing, vacuuming, dusting, bathrooms to clean, the list goes on and on. And I’m convinced someone is stealing hours out of my day. Maybe it’s this little guy here.
So, I’m on a mission to change my mindset if I can’t change my situations. Look deeper for the gratitude and turn my downs into ups. Finding the learnings through the hard, so next time, I might be a little more prepared.
Yes, Linc has a runny nose, and it’s lasted for what feels like forever, but that means at night he’s more likely to cuddle and sit in my lap, instead of squirm away and for that, I can be grateful. And Yes, Lulu is adventurous, but what a great quality (if not scary to me) to have. That was my goal, to have a baby who wasn’t afraid of her own shadow. Someone who would grow up to know what she wants, be able to verbalize it and stand up for herself. She’s on the path I wanted for her – how amazing is that?!
I’m starting to say no to be grateful for the ways I’m spending my time. No to the social media feeds that don’t serve me, make me feel bad, or make me question me. And interact with the people I admire and want in my life. Understanding that relationships shouldn’t be considered work but privileges. No to the things that aren’t a definite yes. I don’t have the time to spend on mediocre. That time gets the dishes and the laundry. I need to know and remember my priorities and live my life making those be my priorities. So on Saturday’s we can say yes to story time with the kids, and no to shopping in a grocery store – I can click list it or even better have them delivered with Shipt from Meijer (try this link to get $50 off your subscription).
I can pay for the things I can’t or don’t want to do, and be grateful for that extra hours in the day that gives to me. I do not need to feel guilty about it or ashamed to admit it. Everyone needs help and gets it in different ways. Some ways I pay for like a nanny, cleaning service, and delivered groceries. But I also trade free babysitting with my sisters from time to time. I do what fits our family and we make it work.
I’m also trying church. In our community, there’s a great church that is all about standing up for what they are for instead of focusing on what they are against. It really is a church to see and be seen, but the people there are 100% dedicated – and so very friendly. Matt and I both grew up with a church in our lives, but not at the level this church can bring. It’s young, It’s impactful, and it’s based in real life. Last week, it was about a phone cord, and it made so much sense, and I’ve been able to carry that with me throughout the week. I love that we are getting something out of the church, and honestly, I hope we can make a few new friends along the way. I’m grateful for the perspective it can give me on the good and the bad situations that life might throw at us.
What do you do to stay the course? To have more good days than bad? To not get buried in the minutia of it all? I’d love to hear all about what works for you. I’m always looking for ways to be the best mama and wife I can be.